Happy Tuesday!!! I have discovered something that I am inspired to do. A few weeks ago my yoga instructor told me about a 2 day meditation retreat. I thought to myself, " Oh my, two days of meditation. That would be difficult". Then a week or so later I met these girls who had just gotten back from a 10 day meditation retreat. I talked with them at length about the experience and peace radiated from their cores. The VERY NEXT DAY I randomly opened a magazine that I got from the library and an article about a person who attended a 10 day meditation retreat was on the page I turned to.
I can not afford to NOT listen to signs these days. When the proverbial "someone" speaks to me. I must listen. So it is my intention to do this meditation retreat. They are quite booked up. However, there is one that happens over Christmas and New Year's. I really cannot think of a better time than that. I am not a huge fan of Christmas. I never have been really and then Kyle told me he wanted a divorce on Christmas. I don't even think Jesus was born in December anyway.
This retreat is a study in Vipassana meditation. You don't talk. You have no eye contact with anyone. You don't read. You don't write (which would be the hardest). You wake up at 4 a.m. and basically meditate until 9:30 p.m. No music. Vegetarian meals. No eating after noon. The first three days suck obviously and then you enter into the prime meditation zone. You are supposed to gain total insight.
Sounds cool, huh?
Other than that I have a massive tan now. I have been on the river for three days straight. I am still looking for a way to make some money. Beyond discouraged. Just accepting now. I know I will get a job next year. Just a summer job would be nice. I hate living off my mom's money. I feel like such a mooch and SO not like an adult.
I am happy and learning so much about myself and life. I am learning to emotionally detach. Not sure if that is necessarily a good thing. But, before all of this madness I would crave depth and intense relationships that ooze feelings. Not so much anymore. I am kind of anti-depth now. I write deeply in my journal. I discuss emotions with the three people who can handle it( My Girlies). That is it. No need for it. It keeps thins light and fun.