I moved way too fast. The day we decided to get married I wanted to break up. I did not see an avenue of progression. He was making no effort to move to Austin. I did not want to have a long distance relationship anymore. He suggested marriage. I ran with it. I did it to myself. I should have waited to see how it would progress past a year. See if he really loved me. If he would really sacrifice his life for me. Even our engagement was only two months. It is times like these that make me feel soooo stupid. Were you guys just laughing at me? Thinking..."oh my, she is making a huge mistake". Hindsight is 20/20.
But, I am kinda a pushy person. Ok. I am a pushy person. When I make up my mind about something I am full on 110%. I need to relax and enjoy the moment. I am learning that. Mom said God has a funny way of knocking you down to make you see your faults. He literally knocked me down by the knees. I wasn't listening. I couldn't see the signs. I am taking huge strides in just relaxing and taking my time. No need to rush. Slow down.
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trust me mama, no on is or was laughing at you. who is anyone to judge, ever. only you know what feels right, whether it be at the moment or forever. as cliche as it is, it all happens for a reason. good for you for overcoming it, or not succumbing to it. so many people do, or that's what i hear from my older sisters and their friends. you are your own and independent and sexy and a hell of a woman. man or not, it does not define you. you have so much of what most woman want or may have but don't realize. keep it up. i am happy for you as long as you happy. love always. call if you ever need anything!!!!!!!! 970.779.8484.
ReplyDeletebesos. kasi
we all fight our demons. and timing is everything. no regrets. just learn.